Stepping into Power as the Lights Dim

“As the year rolls on and autumn arrives, all of nature prepares for fruition and going to seed, or to store up reserves for the winter” (The Language of Plants, Julia Graves)

It’s Autumn Equinox here in the northern hemisphere. Before our energy sinks into the gradually decreasing hours of light, we can find balance in the equal hours of light and dark today. It’s a beautiful time to take stock of the year; while the fields are being harvested, what can you reap from the past months?

As our outer focus shifts from the external pleasures of summer, we turn to a more inward-looking state of being.

The yearly seasons mirror so beautifully, our menstrual cycle, with our pre-menstruum being our inner autumn. But…

If you ask a group of women when their least favourite time in their cycle is, almost always there is a unanimous show of hands for the premenstrual phase.

It’s kind of understandable. We rage. We lose our filters, as the truth speaker in us is unleashed. We may question pretty much everything around us; from our relationships to our ability to do our job, to feeling that nothing we say or do is worthwhile. Without a container of awareness, this phase is disconcerting, disquieting and raw.

Our inner autumn is also the home of the inner critic; part of our shadow side that dances with glee as it feeds our rage, encourages our feelings of worthlessness, and at its worst can have us clinging to our sanity.

With a nod to the Julia Graves quote above, we can genuinely feel as though we are “going to seed” at this point in our cycle. But as the rest of her quote says, autumn is a time when we have the opportunity to store up reserves for winter. In menstrual cycle awareness terms, we can store up reserves for our inner winter, our time of menstruation.

By paying close attention to our needs in our inner autumn, the pre-menstruum can be a deeply potent time in our cycle. We can still be discerning truth speakers, but more directional and with awareness.

We can own this powerful time in our cycle, rather than apologise for it.

 

To add more juice to the picture, perimenopause is our Life Autumn, often with a more distilled and intense flavour of our premenstrual phase. The oils suggested here would work just as beautifully in perimenopause.

To ease these passages to power, we might need some sturdy support around us. Essential oils can be a firm ally to have by our side if it all goes wobbly.

Enjoy a selection of autumn supportive oils:

Clary Sage (Salvia sclarea)

In plant form the flowers of clary sage form a spikey tip to their pinky purple and heart-shaped bloom. The leaves, with their downy hairs, cup the flowers from underneath, in a show of tender support. Perfect for our premenstrual phase.

As an essential oil, clary sage, has a warm, musky and herbaceous aroma. But it’s talent lies in it’s actions – being deeply grounding and holding, yet uplifting. As Gabriel Mojay shares: “The earthy quality of (the oil) reflects its ability to both steady the mind and reassure: while its gentle pungency enlivens the senses and dispels illusion, restoring the clarity echoed by it’s name” (Aromatherapy for Healing the Spirit, Gabriel Mojay). The description reads like a balm to the sometimes deeply unkind work of the inner critic.

The pre-menstruum, a time when the outer lights go down and the inner lights brighten, pulls us towards greater intuition. Valerie Ann Worwood invites us to hear the “whisper” of clary sage: “…be at ease, and focus on contacting the inner spirit” (The Fragrant Heavens)

For a beautifully feminine and holding massage blend for inner autumn try: clary sage, geranium and black pepper

Clary sage also enjoys spending time with sandalwood, cypress, bergamot, and grapefruit.

Frankincense (Boswellia carterii)

Distilled from the resin of the Boswellia tree, with it’s sweet, rich but fresh aroma, the oil holds a special place in my heart. If an essential oil could hold out its arms and offer a hug with genuine love, it would be frankincense.

As Valerie Ann Worwood shares, frankincense is “…like an ever-watchful older friend capable of support in a wide range of circumstances. But, like a vigilant parent, it will not let us go where we are not ready to go.” (The Fragrant Heavens)

The incense resin has it’s place in spiritual tradition, but the essential oil is also “…an ideal aid to mediation, contemplation, and prayer, ceasing mental chatter and stilling the mind. Facilitating a state of single-pointed concentration, it allows the Spirit to soar” (Aromatherapy for Healing the Spirit, Gabriel Mojay) When the mental chatter can turn quite vicious, seeking out frankincense can be an act of kindness in your pre-menstruum.

Frankincense cozies up well with so many other oils. But for a supportive inner autumn blend, clary sage, sandalwood (another oil that enjoys offering a nurturing hug) and bergamot will give you a place to ease your premenstrual disquiet.

Pine (Pinus sylvestris)

Picture the scotch pine, with it’s cluster of evergreen needles, the tree and its fresh, crisp and clean essential oil makes it an ally in supporting you when you’re feeling easily “needled” in your premenstrual phase.

Pine encourages us to trust, ease in to more self-confidence and helps to hold the tension, and more. Gabriel Mojay suggests pine as supportive in “Restoring emotional positivity and “boundary”, as well as our ability to “process” experience, pine works to dissipate both negative self-image and feelings of remorse, replacing guilt with forgiveness and self-acceptance” (Aromatherapy for Healing the Spirit)

Blending pine with frankincense and clary sage, the other oils explored here, would create a truly holding blend.

For a lighter blend, try vapourising pine, grapefruit and juniper.

Who knows what kind of powerful places you can inhabit, with your psyche supported with these beautiful oils…

To support your inner autumn experience, try vapourising the oils, or mix a few drops with Epsom salt or milk and have a soak in the bath. Or perhaps you would love an an Aromatherapy Massage and have a bespoke massage blend created for you, to meet your needs for that day.

The safety stuff:

  • Clary Sage should not be used in pregnancy, unless under the care of an Aromatherapist
  • If you have endometriosis, fibroids or other oestrogen led conditions, please consult with an Aromatherapist before using clary sage
  • Always dilute essential oils. A 1% dilution is the safest. In 15mls (a tablespoon) of base oil (sunflower oil, coconut oil are popular) add 5 drops of essential oil.
  • To make a blend of the oils featured here, you may choose 1 drop of clary sage, 2 drops of frankincense and 2 drops of pine in 15mls of base oil.
  • The old adage of less is more holds true when using essential oils, as over time, skin sensitivity can be increased.
  • Essential oils should not be ingested, unless under the care of a Clinical Aromatherapist who will prepare the oils to avoid irritation of the digestive system.
  • When vapourising, do so in an airy room, for not more than 10-15 minutes.


If you would love to explore your menstrual, fertility or menopause health, with a bespoke blend of essential oils created each time you visit, have a peruse at Aura Mama to see how you can be supported.

And for more information on menstrual cycle awareness enjoy this link

Finding the Ease Within

As someone who has always enjoyed feel-good quotes, inspirational quotes, a sometimes sharer of such quotes, I have recently found myself questioning more and more of what I read.

It feels as though there is an immense pressure on us to always be positive, always be happy, no matter what; and as much as creating a good sense of self and well-being is an integral part of my professional intention, it’s also important to recognise that this is often a huge burden. I mean, what happens if you’re not feeling upbeat? If you can’t always see the joy in everything around you? Have you failed the positivity test? It sometimes feels as though in the feel-good world, we’re setting ourselves up for a fall.

It’s just as important to hear those feelings where self-doubt, uncertainty, irritation, sadness or maybe resentment, amongst others, are also present.

In fact the likelihood is they form part of a monthly pattern.

Such feelings can be eased with the right therapy or practice, but acknowledging them is fundamental, rather than sweeping them aside and pretending they’re not part of a thought process or deeply entrenched belief.

But how is this linked to your monthly cycle?

Well, our cycle moves through the following phases or seasons:

Menstruation/winter – a time to find your cave and simply stop

Pre-ovulation/spring – when energy may rise, as may ideas

Ovulation/summer – possibly the highest energy you will experience in the month, when you may want to take on the world and possibly be your most creative

Pre-menstruum/autumn – this is the time to start slowing down and become more thoughtful about plans and sometimes the people you spend time with.

I started writing this in my pre-menstrual phase; a time of deep discernment, frankly a time when you don’t take any shit. It’s often an uncomfortable phase, but once you have formed a friendhsip with your cycle, my word when those emotions can be harnessed in autumn you can put them to the kind of use you could never believe. By the time I publish this I will have started settling in to winter and I may want be gentler in my writing.

With the intention of giving you a helping hand to cultivate this understanding of your cycle, here are some simple suggestions:

Chart your cycle

If you are menstruating, your menstrual cycle holds such gold. Seeing the shift in emotions and feelings as you move from season to season.

If you are no longer experiencing a menstrual cycle, try tracking the lunar cycle as see how aligned you are with the phases of the moon.

While charting, notice a pattern forming over the months. When are you most active? Most creative? Most discerning or impatient? When are you craving slowness or stillness?

Get to know your inner critic

Give her a name, it truly helps, particularly when “she’s” not playing fair. Earlier this year I had a nasty run in with my inner critc, here’s how it panned out! This relationship is really rather crucial in the process, as the inner critic tends to have a field day in our autumn phase.

Get yourself a gorgeous journal

Then write, write, write! Working alongside your charting, it’s an opportunity to allow the space for the flesh to be put on the bones of the shifts occuring. Be as self-indulgent as possible. Your journal can be a place to vent, explore, get sweary if it feels right, get real about anything and everything you feel in the moment. When you look back at your entries, chances are it will also hold some gems.

Set aside a small amount of time, preferably daily, for self-care

Why not give self-abdominal massage a go? Become acquainted with this sacred area of your body, the area where our deepest emotions are often held, our deepest history. It’s also a window on how our digestive and womb health responds to our inner and outer world. You may be surprised at the level of self-knowledge that might arise, plus it feels rather yummy once you’ve got the hang of it!

Practice gratitude

Even if life feels utterly shit right now, write down one positive each day. You might consider it negligible, but pop it down in your journal. That little nugget of gratitude may have a longer term benefit even if it doesn’t improve your mood in the moment.

4625826997There you have it, 5 simple suggestions. Isn’t that great! The pressure is off! Gently recognising your shifts as you move through the month, seeing the patterns that begin to form; who knows as your knowledge of your inner landscape grows, an ease of the goddess within may just emerge. I would take that any day over enforced feel-good positivity.

So, as 2015 exits and 2016 makes its entrance, why not make the decision to use your cycle to recognise when you’re firing on all cylinders, when to throw yourself into a project, when it’s time to slow down and when it’s time to actually stop?

If you feel you would like some support or guidance working though these points, from January I am offering complementary 30 minute Skype or phone consultations, you can contact me here.

In February Kate Codrington and I are holding our first Love Your BellyWorkshop of 2016.

We are welcoming another group of women to learn how to harness self-care and a whole lot more. If you would like to reserve a seat/cushion and make the most of the early reduced price you can click here.

Wishing for a peaceful entry into 2016 and a year full of blessings.

x

Hanging Out With Zelda!

So, how does it feel to hang out with your harshest critic? And what can you do to protect yourself from her words?

Let me introduce you to Zelda – she has an opinion on pretty much everything, rarely has anything kind to say and often pops in to say hello at the least convenient moment. Before telling you any more about this delightful soul, I want to share a little something with you. Next year I will be immersing myself in the wisdom of Alexandra Pope. Learning and feeling deeply

Before telling you any more about this delightful soul, I want to share a little something with you. Next year I will be immersing myself in the wisdom of Alexandra Pope. Learning and feeling deeply

Next year I will be immersing myself in the wisdom of Alexandra Pope. Learning and feeling deeply in to the nuts and bolts of menstrual awareness, and my word, for me, it is such a ridiculously exciting prospect! A prerequisite of Alexandra’s apprenticeship is to experience a Menarche Ceremony. It’s a ceremony that acknowledges and rewrites the experience of your first menstrual bleed. Where you have the opportunity to hear the words and feel the emotions that would have served you at the time. Since working on my own menstrual cycle with one of Alexandra’s Women’s Quest Apprentices and now Red

A prerequisite of Alexandra’s apprenticeship is to experience a Menarche Ceremony. It’s a ceremony that acknowledges and rewrites the experience of your first menstrual bleed. Where you have the opportunity to hear the words and feel the emotions that would have served you at the time. Since working on my own menstrual cycle with one of Alexandra’s Women’s Quest Apprentices and now Red

Since working on my own menstrual cycle with one of Alexandra’s Women’s Quest Apprentices and now Red School mentor, the exceptionally talented Emma Tivey from Woman Soul, she has always offered space and time to allow my cycle experience to be heard. And always heard with kindness and a deep level of understanding. I knew that my Menarche Ceremony would have to be with Emma.

Happily my first period, wasn’t at all distressing. In fact, it was quite exciting, as I was one of the last of my friends to “join the club”. Despite the ease and excitement of having my first bleed, my early teenage years, like many, were fraught and hard. Some were obvious and teen related reasons, but others were due to unfortunate life experiences. In the week or so leading up to the ceremony, my mood began to slump; I began to explore who I was at the time of menarche and what it felt like to be that teenage girl again. As I looked at pictures of myself at the time, I was reminded that

In the week or so leading up to the ceremony, my mood began to slump; I began to explore who I was at the time of menarche and what it felt like to be that teenage girl again. As I looked at pictures of myself at the time, I was reminded that

As I looked at pictures of myself at the time, I was reminded that 13 year olds don’t smile very much! And in fact look downright angry! I was transported back to feeling hideously

I was transported back to feeling hideously awkward and awash with an all-consuming teenage angst. The Menarche Ceremony itself, led by Emma, was truly beautiful, moving, uplifting and deeply personal, which is why I won’t share the details of it here. Suffice to say my journal was filled with a floatingly positive entry that night. We were told though by Emma to be kind to ourselves following the ceremony. To be mindful and watchful of ourselves. This was going to be a time of transition. Every woman’s experience of the transformation

The Menarche Ceremony itself, led by Emma, was truly beautiful, moving, uplifting and deeply personal, which is why I won’t share the details of it here. Suffice to say my journal was filled with a floatingly positive entry that night. We were told though by Emma to be kind to ourselves following the ceremony. To be mindful and watchful of ourselves. This was going to be a time of transition. Every woman’s experience of the transformation

We were told though by Emma to be kind to ourselves following the ceremony. To be mindful and watchful of ourselves. This was going to be a time of transition. Every woman’s experience of the transformation

Every woman’s experience of the transformation will, of course, be different, but I wasn’t quite prepared for what my psyche had in store for me!

What unfolded was a most unwelcome guest visit from my inner critic. Thanks to spending the summer online under the guidance of another of Alexandra’s apprentices with her She Flow Yoga Summer School, the menstrual maven herself, Lisa Lister, she suggested we name our inner critic. I decided on the name Zelda, although I also see her as Cinderella’s wicked

Thanks to spending the summer online under the guidance of another of Alexandra’s apprentices with her She Flow Yoga Summer School, the menstrual maven herself, Lisa Lister, she suggested we name our inner critic. I decided on the name Zelda, although I also see her as Cinderella’s wicked step mother!

Zelda decided to enter not only my psyche, but my very core and take up residence for most of the next month. There she was, a voice who usually makes herself heard a couple of times a month, mostly in my premenstrual phase, decided to stand up loud and proud, hang back, arms crossed, rolling her eyes at pretty much anything that I said and thought.

Her skill lay in her ability to sneer incessantly, all day and even worse, often throughout the night, about how utterly…useless…worthless… I was…at…everything…yes…EVERYTHING.

My awareness was such that I knew what this critic of mine was up to, and with guidance from Emma, I had to work on easing her away from my core. I also knew that at a more balanced and discerning time I would have a “conversation” with her and even ask the question, was there any truth in her constant unkind words?

It was time to pull on my resources, but I had to keep it simple. Deep and true kindness had to be the key. Intellectually it was crystal clear what was happening, a recalibration of my soul after the Menarche Ceremony; for me, the work was going to delve deep and unfortunately, harshly.

So yes indeed, kindness had to be my resource of choice.

I journalled like crazy, not allowing the thoughts to fester for too long. And as tempting as it would have been to hide away, in what was a particularly celebratory month, I spent time with wonderful friends who unknowingly kept me afloat and connected to myself in a safe and supportive way.

But one realisation disturbed me more than anything. Although I was tracking my menstrual cycle and the physical shifts were occurring, emotionally, I had stopped cycling.

Oh good grief! This had become my touchstone! The ebb and flow of my cycle had disappeared. Instead I became stuck in a perpetual autumnal state of premenstruum.

This was why my critic was having such a ball!

As the month went on there were very few signs that the recalibration was moving towards completion even though the winter of my cycle, emotionally preparing for my period, was drawing closer. This is the point in our cycles, according to Alexandra Pope, called the void. It took a few days of journaling to realise that this feeling of total emptiness that I was now occupying was a void deeper than I had ever experienced. A complete detachment.

What gradually became clear though, and my belief was, that this transition would finally reach a climax with my menstrual bleed. It turned out to be a long 34 day cycle, so it did feel as though it would never end!

But my bleed finally came and then it happened, I woke up full of ideas, creativity, excited, ready for action and unknowingly ready for new projects and new challenges.

With all I have experienced following the ceremony, I realise life will never quite be the same again; not so much a re-birthing experience, more an emergence from child to woman, where I am still “growing up” and that’s sometimes deeply uncomfortable. And when Zelda makes an appearance, I stay connected to my cycle, my awareness and my trusty journal.

I tested the kindness challenge after my Menarche Ceremony and truly, it was a soul saver. And I’ve learned to keep Zelda in check!

Over at Love Your Belly, we started a conversation a while back about how hard it is for women to allow kindness into their lives. We have had the pleasure of sharing a number of wise and impassioned guests who have joined the conversation. Check out their articles right here.

Top artwork: Black Man by Richard Rizzo