It’s a Bank Holiday weekend.
A time for family? A time for friends? Or may be a time when you choose to step away from the usual connections you make in the week.
As I learned earlier this week, in a searching, challenging and enlightening workshop on Constellations, our lives are made up of systems; groups of people in which we have our place and make our connections.
Perhaps a long weekend such as this, will give rise to many emotions – from feeling easy and comfortable, perhaps excited, happy, joyous to feelings of uncertainty, unease, frustration and even loneliness. These emotions are most certainly linked to where we stand in our systems.
How many groups or systems are you part of? Our ancestral lines; family; different friendship groups; work colleagues; those you share a hobby with – a book club, a walking group; the same people you commute with each day; parents on the school playground..? The list could go on and on.
Our place within these different systems has a huge impact on who we are and vice versa.
The theme of the Constellation Workshop was Belonging. The space was held safely and skilfully by Betsy Gibson and Sara Poss and we explored what this meant to each of us with depth and authenticity. As thoughts, feelings and emotions were shared, I began to realise something my truth. What belonging meant to me.
My physical reaction surprised me – sweaty palms and a racing heart! I was unnerved at how uncomfortable I felt at the prospect of verbalising it.
Confession time! Belonging is something I’ve always struggled with but I’ve never explored what it truly meant to me. As a child, it was a hard feeling to live with; as a teenager it was sometimes excruciating; a steep learning curve at University and entering the world of work throughout my 20s and into my 30s. By my early 40s I began to feel more comfortable with the feeling. And now, particularly after the workshop this week, I realise that I can actually embrace that feeling of otherness and cosy up with that part of myself.
It is sheer perfection that I have chosen to work in the world of complementary medicine. There is often a feeling of having to fight against the tide, just by the nature not adhering to the norms of conventional medicine. But, it’s now crystal clear to me why there is such pleasure and delicious joy when clients embrace and allow the beauty of the otherness of the work.
Not just in my work life, the personal struggle with the sense of otherness has meant the connections and friendships that I have, make my heart truly sing and are so much more precious.
Whatever your relationship with the concept of belonging, of all the systems you are part of, why not try to shift the amount of time spent with those people who love and accept you for who you are and allow your authentic self to thrive?
So, this holiday weekend I wish you peace with your version of belonging – if it’s with family, friends, your pets or whether you prefer your own company and your sense of belonging is to your self – Happy Easter, Happy Passover and love to all.
For more information on Constellations and the Parenting Programme designed to help heal family dynamics you can find information on Sara here and you can contact Betsy at firstname.lastname@example.org
Top Art image: “Moon Dancers” Angela Ferreira
Lower Art Image: Diane Solis