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You'll find me in my cave...

You’ll find me in my cave…

Posted on by Leora Leboff

Where’s my cave?

Searching for warmth and enduring comfort as winter solstice falls upon us, the shortest day of the year in the Northern Hemisphere. It’s also a time to gently sow seeds, ready to emerge as spring begins to arrive.

What’s the nature of your internal landscape? Does your menstrual cycle match that of the yearly cycle? Are you menstruating in sync with the shortest day? Are you within your inner summer, ovulating and craving an expansiveness that is hard to reach on a wintry day? Breath in to where you are at this winter solstice.

To ease you through the winter months, please enjoy a selection of essential oils that will nourish and offer you comfort; your very own blanket of essential oil care…

Cedarwood – cedrus atlantica

Atlas cedarwood is a woody, sweet, slightly balsamic and deeply nourishing oil; it offers a softness in it’s aroma that you just may want to welcome with open arms during the winter.

But, don’t underestimate the softness of this healing oil, it’s one that offers solidity and stability. According to Valerie Ann Worwood “It has qualities which are often needed when the spirit is weakened by living too much, loving too much, and being unable to forgive” (The Fragrant Heavens, Valerie Ann Worwood)

It’s the perfect oil for menopause “It encourages the strength we need to continue on our pathway, and urges us to hold fast to our dreams, helping bringing our hopes to reality” Valerie Ann Worwood

As a physical support, winter coughs and colds can also be supported by atlas cedarwood, with it’s warming expectorant and anti-spasmodic actions.

It’s considered a powerful tonic, according to Gabriel Mojay “The oil is tonifying to the kidneys and spleen-pancreas and may be used for general lethargy, nervous debility, lower back ache and poor concentration” (Aromatherapy for Healing The Spirit ,Gabriel Mojay)

Delicious oils to blend with cedarwood for winter nurturing are, frankincense, petitgrain or orange.

Ginger – zingiber officinale

Spicy, pungent sometimes sweet tones, but ever so warming.

Ginger is a perfect companion during the festive season, with its digestive qualities; useful for nausea, bloating and flatulence.

With ginger’s ability to stimulate circulation, add it to a massage blend over the abdomen to relieve not just digestive, also menstrual disturbances.

This is another oil that encourages strength, according to Valerie Ann Worwodd “Ginger is a fragrance of valour and courage”. (The Fragant Heavens) P Holmes agrees “It is recommended for conditions associated with loss of motivation, will or inner strength, especially when these present apathy, listlessness, indecision, confusion and disconnection” (The International Journal of Aromatherapy)

When blended with sweet orange, you are gifted with a warming chocolate orange aroma. One you may quite happily envelope yourself in all winter!

It blends beautifully with all other citrus oils, or introduce some fun into the long wintry nights with aphrodisiacs such as ylang ylang, rose or patchouli.

Geranium – pelargonium graveolens

As Valerie Ann Worwood proclaims: “Geranium resonates with Mother Earth. It signifies the archetypal energy of goddess culture, and encompasses the energy of the feminine, of reproduction, of birth and rebirth” (The Fragrant Heavens)

As you can imagine, geranium is an oil I turn to frequently.

With an aroma that is sweet and floral (even though it’s the leaves of the plant that hold the essential oil), it is soft, green with ever so slightly citrus notes.

Along with deeply feminine qualities, geranium is regenerative and an anti-depressant, as Gabriel Mojay shares: “Clearing heat and smoothing the flow of Qi, geranium, like lavender is able to relax the mind, calm agitation, and ease frustration and irritability”. (Aromatherapy fo Healing the Spirit) It has PMS support written all over it.

Geranium blends well with citrus oils, but as a menstrual support it’s beautiful with clary sage and lavender.

Each of the oils I have shared, offer warmth, hope and that glimmer of light we may look for in the darkness of winter solstice.

 

Now, imagine being holed up in a cave with these delectable oils, comforting soups, your favourite book and the comfiest of blankets! You might just find me there all winter!

Winter solstice blessings to all.

x

To enjoy your own exploration of how aromatherapy can support your menstrual cycle and menopause book in here.

Top image – Hernan Sanchez

 

It's all about the Bloody Journeying

It’s all about the Bloody Journeying

Posted on by Leora Leboff

Ooh, so far, this has been a defining year.

 

Once I was accepted on to Alexandra Pope’s Women’s Quest Apprenticeship, it was clear that, life would never quite be the same.

 

The training, (although seriously, “training” doesn’t even begin to describe the experience!) was a series of beautifully crafted processes, transformations and wisdom sharing, such is the like I’ve never encountered.

 

Essentially over two separate residential weeks we were invited to truly meet ourselves.

 

And not just a polite shaking of hands kind of meeting. No, this was getting down and sometimes oh so messy with our psyches. Delving in to the different stages of our lives, from menarche (first period) to menopause and beyond.

 

All under the immensely skilful and watchful eyes and guidance of Alexandra Pope and Sjanie Hugo-Wurlitzer, who run Red School Online, with the huge hearted Laura Tonello and Laila Torsheim to support. I must acknowledge how the teaching team of women working together was so inspirational; the celebration of each others skills, only lifting each other. All utterly powerful to witness. And how each of our teachers shared their authenticity was deeply moving.

 

By the end of the two residentials, each of us had relived our experience of menarche, traversed our menstrual cycles in several different forms, gone toe to toe with our inner critic, dreamt in to how we can serve the world, met the future wise woman within us, culminating in a pure celebration of ourselves.

 

And how we celebrated!

 

Every exercise was searching and challenging, as was the immensely courageous opening of hearts within the circle of sisters I’m sharing the apprenticeship journey with. We listened to one another’s moments of self-awareness, witnessed each others pain, celebrated the emerging joy coming from the healing wisdom, all with such love and compassion. We sang, we danced, we lovingly held space for each other.

 

My own journey was often painful, but deeply transformational, and allowed me to ease out of the comfiest of comfortable life sofas. In fact, not long after the first residential, with some acknowledgment to where I was standing in my menstrual cycle (my inner summer of ovulation), I found myself calling in to a national radio station to voice my feelings on medication to reverse the menopause. Never done that before! You’ll see why this was such a big deal…

 

…All my life I’ve had issue with my voice, with projection, with allowing myself to be heard. But even more transformation was to occur. Nearly two years after being gifted a recording studio session by my children, I broke through a whole heap of resistance, started seeing a vocal coach and stepped with confidence in to that recording studio and rocked my way to recording the perfect song choice. It was dedicated to my husband for his daily acceptance of every part of me. I also realised that it was unknowingly a 90s head tip to menstruality!

 

Please do enjoy the recording of “Bitch”, which would not have materialised were it not for sitting in circle with my Women’s Quest sisters and teachers.

 

Well, some real gifts have been borne out of the apprenticeship, so grab these while you’re hanging out in this blog post:

 

1) First is the ever so simple act of introducing cycle awareness in to your life. That’s menstrual cycle awareneness in your menstruating years, or with the lunar cycle, if you’re post menopause, breast feeding, not having menstrual cycles, or post hysterectomy.

Keeping a track of your feelings along with your cycle can be a treasure trove. To help you get started, download your chart here.

 

2) If you are following a menstrual cycle, really listen to what your body, emotions and psyche are telling you in the different inner seasons (more info on these in number 5). And for women journeying the menopause, the listening is paramount. What is your body asking you to do in this moment? What are your emotions saying to you? What is your intuition nudging you to do (listen ever so carefully to your intuition in your inner winter, especially when you are bleeding, the potential for insight can be staggering).

 

3) Once you’ve listened, then HEAR, I mean really hear what your needs are, this is as a means to truly support yourself. How can those needs be met? What do you need to do or perhaps more importantly, NOT do.

 

4) Self-care is key. Establish practices that feed you. This could be: self-care massage, yoga, meditation, your favourite exercise class, receiving a massage, meeting friends, spending time in mama nature, bringing health giving foods in to your life…the list is personal and endless. And if these practices are moved through with awareness as to how they nourish you, your self-care box is firmly ticked.

 

5) Intertwined with 2-4 is introducing the concept of the 1% in to your life. As Alexandra Pope also calls it, the homeopathic dose. Devoting time to self-care is deeply important, but when the time and frankly the inclination is just not there, what to do then? The 1% is a balm to your needs. What little kindnesses can you show yourself?

 

Here are a few ideas, working around the inner seasons of the menstrual cycle:

 

*That moment of slowing your step, if you can’t fully stop, while you’re bleeding in your inner winter.

*That moment of taking a breath when your inner critic speaks up in your inner autumnal pre-menstruum; maybe texting a friend who always lifts you when you’re down.

*That social event you duck out of at the last minute while you’re in your super sexy, inner summer, ovulation phase. Because actually its the 4th night on the trot you’ve gone out and suddenly you no longer feel super sexy and if you go there’s the very real chance of an energy slump that might really floor you – and…take a breath!

*That moment you bite your tongue, even though you want to tell everyone about your latest, greatest innovative idea in exciting, but still quite vulnerable, pre-ovulatory, inner spring. Knowing actually, its too early to share and any criticism might squash your precious idea shoots.

 

Find your own 1%s, your own small kindnesses that will ease unease.

 

I adore the simplicity, that the answers lie within you. All in your cycle guiding you to when and how to engage in the self-care, when to reach for a choco endorphin release, shift your exercise from Insanity to pleasurable yoga, make that presentation, write that blog post…yes my loves, it’s all there in cycle awareness.

 

If you would like to explore these gifts and possibilities of your menstrual cycle or menopause journey, you have options:

 

*Check our our latest Woman Kind offering here

*Opportunities for embodying these gifts with Womb & Fertility Massage,

*Simply having a consultation to explore how you can introduce menstrual cycle or menopause awareness as a support to your life. You can reach me at Leora@auraholistictherapies.com

*Red School, I can’t recommend enough, leads you on your own menstruality journey with Alexandra and Sjanie.

 

With heartfelt thanks and love to Alexandra Pope and Sjanie Hugo-Wurlitzer and fellow sisters who sat in circle at the Apprenticeship.

 

Blessings x

Making Love and Light

Making Love and Light

Posted on by Leora Leboff

Today we are in for a celestial treat.

 

At summer solstice we are also being treated to a Strawberry Moon, a full moon given it’s name by Native American tribes to mark the beginning of the gathering of ripe strawberries (our local Pick Your Own would also agree it’s time!). Despite being rained on as though it was the coming of Armageddon this morning; I can now look out of my office window – the birds are singing, the trees are abundant with lush green leaves and the blue sky is radiant.

 

We enter summer here in the northern hemisphere, when Mama Earth is at her most fertile. As you read this, be aware of where you are in your menstrual cycle. Are you in your ovulatory or your internal summer season? How does it feel to be in synch with the great Mama? Or are you menstruating, your internal winter, perhaps feeling at odds with the expansiveness of summer?

 

If you are trying to conceive, it’s a beautiful night to make love, under the full Strawberry Moon.

 

To support this celestial coupling and this most fertile of seasons, here are three summery and sensual essential oils you might enjoy:

 

If you’re looking for an aphrodisiac, Jasmine (Jasminum officinalis, Jasmine grandiflorum) may be your first choice. Deeply sensual, warm, rich, sweet and floral in aroma. It’s the oil of seduction, but as Gabriel Mojay (Gabrial Mojay, Aromatherapy for Healing the Spirit) writes, it’s more than simply a sexual stimulant: “Whenever fear and vulnerability, or anxiety and depression cuts us off from our ability to share physical pleasure and affection, jasmine oil can support, reassure, and delight. Its voluptuously warm, joyous fragrance allows the heart to flow again through the river of senses”.

 

Ylang Ylang (Cananga odorata), another aphrodisiac which “…shields and guides the passion of love and true emotion, whilst allowing a tender awakening of that sensual part of our being and spirit which can embrace all things.” Valerie Worwood’s words in The Fragrant Heavens reflect the sweet fervour Ylang Ylang can elicit. There’s a playfulness about this floral, softly balsamic and slightly heady oil. Where there is a lack of ardour, Ylang Ylang will ease the fear and anxiety and allow sexuality and sensuality to flourish with just a touch of euphoria.

 

If the rose is “the queen of flowers” (Greek poet Sappho), the damask rose of Bulgaria, must be the empress of roses. The damask rose distilled to produce Rose Otto (Rosa damascena), has an exquisiteness that is only matched by it’s value. For the 50 rose heads required to produce just one drop of oil; that it requires harvesting early in the morning and that there are only 20-40 days of the year when the rose heads can be picked, the result is a highly expensive essential oil. If you are out-priced by the oil, buying it in a dilution of jojoba oil allows affordability.

 

The aroma oil of rose otto is deeply feminine, softly sweet, slightly spicy and gently floral. It is the aromatic epitome of love. It is an oil that supports the heart, whether in grief or in the throws of emotion, being holding and comforting. It’s also a tonic for the womb and sacral chakra. Descibed as “a gentle aphrodisiac which helps to spiritualise sexual relationships” (P Davis, Subtle Aromatherapy).

 

Yes, we’re being gifted a strawberry moon at summer solstice, so make love tonight in it’s superlunary glory, and remember to leave the curtains open, letting mama moon’s light in.

 

Enjoy the oils I’ve described above, maybe tonight, maybe for the next full moon! Consider asking an aromatherapist to make up a blend for you to use, as there’s nothing more sensual than giving and receiving a massage. Think of the magic that could be created?

 

Blessings.

x

 

Lighting the Way Out of the Darkeness

Lighting the Way Out of the Darkeness

Posted on by Leora Leboff

Is it just me or has it felt like an extraordinarily long winter this year?

As Spring Equinox was finally with us yesterday, I welcome in the light with immense gratitude, the balance that it brought and now for all the new possibilities and a time of ascension.

A question was asked of me this weekend – which essential oils would support the spring equinox?

I’ve pondered the oils would help to ease us into the new light, a time of nurturing fertility, not just our own, but that of the earth and of our souls?

Here are three essential oils that might just help this time of transition…

My first choice would have to be Sweet Orange (citrus sinesis)

4627303801It’s an oil that exudes utter joy; is uplifting and a perfect fragrance to bring you gently out of the winter darkness. An oil of regeneration; it is sweet, fruity and fresh, and often lights up the eyes of those who breathe in its revitalising odour.

It blends well with so many other oils, but for the purposes of super boosting regeneration and a fertile soul, a more summery oil, Jasmine Absolute (jasminum officinalis), and a fellow spring oil Bergamot (citrus bergamia), are beautiful. These three oils offer sweet, slightly bitter, and deeply floral notes which come together in synergistic bliss.

My second choice of Spring Equinox support is Bergamot (citrus bergamia or citrus aurantium).

I love Valerie Ann Worwood’s description of the oil “It lightens the shadows of the mind, bringing illumination and laughter…lifting us from stagnation, bringing an awareness that the light will rescue us and take us ever forward to the realms of peace and joy” – The Fragrant Heavens by Valerie Ann Worwood

A popular oil, it’s gentle aroma and flavour is used in Earl Grey Tea, but psychologically, as Valerie Ann Worwood alludes, an aroma particularly wonderful for depression. When used with other oils it tends to take not just the blend, but the person receiving it, to wherever they need to be. I can’t think of another oil it doesn’t work beautifully in synergy with.

And finally… Helichrysum

The last oil I’ll mention to ease you through the changes of Spring Equinox is Helichrysum (helichrysum italicum or helichrysum angustifolium), also known as Immortelle or Everlasting.

It has a bitter-sweet aroma. As Gabriel Mojay writes “At it’s most transformative, everlasting oil can loosen the hardest of knots lying deep within the psyche…” Aromatherapy for Healing the Spirit by Gabiel Mojay.

Using Helichrysum in a blend during an Abdominal Massage, especially at the solar plexus and over the womb, could truly be a game changer in emotional release.

4627303801Blending Helichrysum with uplifitng citrus oils such as Bergamot and Grapefruit makes emerging from the darkness into the possibilities brought by spring, quite a magical prospect.

To support the transition from winter to spring, a wonderful way of using the oils mentioned would be to vapourise them, or ask your local friendly Aromatherapist to use them in a blend for you. For optimal results with vapourising, do so in an airy room, for not more than 10-15 minutes.

Blessings on your spring emergence.

x

 

***A couple of notes of caution
– Jasmine should not be used during pregnancy, unless under the guidance of an Aromatherapist.
– Bermamot (unless it is furocumarin free), is phototoxic, if not used in a safe dilution, and can cause burning if exposed to UV light.

What's In A Name?

What’s In A Name?

Posted on by Leora Leboff

Coping mechanisms at times of personal tragedy or trauma are truly fascinating.

Some of us need to share our thoughts and thought processes; some of us need to remain private; some of us need to internalise; some of us need to create a safe space for others who have undergone similar experiences, maybe by running a support group; some of us go on to educate and work to support others who have experienced similar trauma; some raise money for charity, or even set up their own charity.

Each and every intention that is born out of a trauma or tragedy will come from a place of authenticity and a drive to cope. And each will also play a role in the healing journey of the person involved.

Losing a baby or child is a trauma that illicits many diverse and individual responses.

Support groups are available, some in person, many online and thankfully with the space created by social media there is more and more opportunity for offering or receiving assistance. Within this network sometimes what emerges is a name that unifies those that are coping with the same situation.

Rainbow Babies are those precious souls carried and born following a pregancy or baby loss.

4627164928It’s utterly beautiful to connect your next precious pregnancy or baby you can actually hold, feed, take home and nurture, to a phenomenon that occurs after a storm has broken and the sunlight that has been allowed in to break the darkness.

And there is such darkness to weather when you’ve been left with empty arms and a broken heart.

When I googled Rainbow Baby, endless search results came up; there is clearly a huge amount of support that comes with the term – many pages, images and services are on offer to bring comfort to parents.

But what of those who grow up being Rainbow Babies?

They are the much longed-for child, who has grown, has filled their parents lives, has been able to offer cuddles, giggles and hopefully joy.

But, what other weight is being held with this name?

The constant reminder of loss; I am here because my sibling or siblings died. Could this name carry guilt? I live, but my baby brother or sister didn’t. Do I want to be recognised by this label that will always refer to the baby before me? Can I not be my own person?

I wasn’t aware of the term when I was pregnant with my daughter after losing Baby Harry. I decided to ask her what she thought of the name Rainbow Baby/Child (she’s 10 years old) and shared with her its meaning. Her reaction was that it was a lovely name. After this conversation, we had a busy afternoon, a period of time passed, so I tested the water and referred to her again later as my Rainbow Child. This time she began to get upset, and made it clear that she didn’t want me to use the term again. It was hard for her to verbalise why her reaction was so strong, but she did ask me to use pet names I’ve had for her in the past instead. I’m assuming they felt safer.

There is certainly no right and no wrong in using the term Rainbow Baby. The comfort for parents is palpable, but so was the strength of rejection of it by my daughter.

Our methods of coping when faced with recovering from trauma will always remain highly individual.

EFT and Abdominal Massage are therapies that can play a part in helping to ease such trauma and finding peace.

To all who are on their healing journey following baby loss, I wish you peace in your heart.

Blessings

x

Finding the Ease Within

Finding the Ease Within

Posted on by Leora Leboff

As someone who has always enjoyed feel-good quotes, inspirational quotes, a sometimes sharer of such quotes, I have recently found myself questioning more and more of what I read.

It feels as though there is an immense pressure on us to always be positive, always be happy, no matter what; and as much as creating a good sense of self and well-being is an integral part of my professional intention, it’s also important to recognise that this is often a huge burden. I mean, what happens if you’re not feeling upbeat? If you can’t always see the joy in everything around you? Have you failed the positivity test? It sometimes feels as though in the feel-good world, we’re setting ourselves up for a fall.

It’s just as important to hear those feelings where self-doubt, uncertainty, irritation, sadness or maybe resentment, amongst others, are also present.

In fact the likelihood is they form part of a monthly pattern.

Such feelings can be eased with the right therapy or practice, but acknowledging them is fundamental, rather than sweeping them aside and pretending they’re not part of a thought process or deeply entrenched belief.

But how is this linked to your monthly cycle?

Well, our cycle moves through the following phases or seasons:

Menstruation/winter – a time to find your cave and simply stop

Pre-ovulation/spring – when energy may rise, as may ideas

Ovulation/summer – possibly the highest energy you will experience in the month, when you may want to take on the world and possibly be your most creative

Pre-menstruum/autumn – this is the time to start slowing down and become more thoughtful about plans and sometimes the people you spend time with.

I started writing this in my pre-menstrual phase; a time of deep discernment, frankly a time when you don’t take any shit. It’s often an uncomfortable phase, but once you have formed a friendhsip with your cycle, my word when those emotions can be harnessed in autumn you can put them to the kind of use you could never believe. By the time I publish this I will have started settling in to winter and I may want be gentler in my writing.

With the intention of giving you a helping hand to cultivate this understanding of your cycle, here are some simple suggestions:

Chart your cycle

If you are menstruating, your menstrual cycle holds such gold. Seeing the shift in emotions and feelings as you move from season to season.

If you are no longer experiencing a menstrual cycle, try tracking the lunar cycle as see how aligned you are with the phases of the moon.

While charting, notice a pattern forming over the months. When are you most active? Most creative? Most discerning or impatient? When are you craving slowness or stillness?

Get to know your inner critic

Give her a name, it truly helps, particularly when “she’s” not playing fair. Earlier this year I had a nasty run in with my inner critc, here’s how it panned out! This relationship is really rather crucial in the process, as the inner critic tends to have a field day in our autumn phase.

Get yourself a gorgeous journal

Then write, write, write! Working alongside your charting, it’s an opportunity to allow the space for the flesh to be put on the bones of the shifts occuring. Be as self-indulgent as possible. Your journal can be a place to vent, explore, get sweary if it feels right, get real about anything and everything you feel in the moment. When you look back at your entries, chances are it will also hold some gems.

Set aside a small amount of time, preferably daily, for self-care

Why not give self-abdominal massage a go? Become acquainted with this sacred area of your body, the area where our deepest emotions are often held, our deepest history. It’s also a window on how our digestive and womb health responds to our inner and outer world. You may be surprised at the level of self-knowledge that might arise, plus it feels rather yummy once you’ve got the hang of it!

Practice gratitude

Even if life feels utterly shit right now, write down one positive each day. You might consider it negligible, but pop it down in your journal. That little nugget of gratitude may have a longer term benefit even if it doesn’t improve your mood in the moment.

4625826997There you have it, 5 simple suggestions. Isn’t that great! The pressure is off! Gently recognising your shifts as you move through the month, seeing the patterns that begin to form; who knows as your knowledge of your inner landscape grows, an ease of the goddess within may just emerge. I would take that any day over enforced feel-good positivity.

So, as 2015 exits and 2016 makes its entrance, why not make the decision to use your cycle to recognise when you’re firing on all cylinders, when to throw yourself into a project, when it’s time to slow down and when it’s time to actually stop?

If you feel you would like some support or guidance working though these points, from January I am offering complementary 30 minute Skype or phone consultations, you can contact me here.

In February Kate Codrington and I are holding our first Love Your BellyWorkshop of 2016.

We are welcoming another group of women to learn how to harness self-care and a whole lot more. If you would like to reserve a seat/cushion and make the most of the early reduced price you can click here.

Wishing for a peaceful entry into 2016 and a year full of blessings.

x

Hanging Out With Zelda!

Hanging Out With Zelda!

Posted on by Keri Williams

So, how does it feel to hang out with your harshest critic? And what can you do to protect yourself from her words?

Let me introduce you to Zelda – she has an opinion on pretty much everything, rarely has anything kind to say and often pops in to say hello at the least convenient moment. Before telling you any more about this delightful soul, I want to share a little something with you. Next year I will be immersing myself in the wisdom of Alexandra Pope. Learning and feeling deeply

Before telling you any more about this delightful soul, I want to share a little something with you. Next year I will be immersing myself in the wisdom of Alexandra Pope. Learning and feeling deeply

Next year I will be immersing myself in the wisdom of Alexandra Pope. Learning and feeling deeply in to the nuts and bolts of menstrual awareness, and my word, for me, it is such a ridiculously exciting prospect! A prerequisite of Alexandra’s apprenticeship is to experience a Menarche Ceremony. It’s a ceremony that acknowledges and rewrites the experience of your first menstrual bleed. Where you have the opportunity to hear the words and feel the emotions that would have served you at the time. Since working on my own menstrual cycle with one of Alexandra’s Women’s Quest Apprentices and now Red

A prerequisite of Alexandra’s apprenticeship is to experience a Menarche Ceremony. It’s a ceremony that acknowledges and rewrites the experience of your first menstrual bleed. Where you have the opportunity to hear the words and feel the emotions that would have served you at the time. Since working on my own menstrual cycle with one of Alexandra’s Women’s Quest Apprentices and now Red

Since working on my own menstrual cycle with one of Alexandra’s Women’s Quest Apprentices and now Red School mentor, the exceptionally talented Emma Tivey from Woman Soul, she has always offered space and time to allow my cycle experience to be heard. And always heard with kindness and a deep level of understanding. I knew that my Menarche Ceremony would have to be with Emma.

Happily my first period, wasn’t at all distressing. In fact, it was quite exciting, as I was one of the last of my friends to “join the club”. Despite the ease and excitement of having my first bleed, my early teenage years, like many, were fraught and hard. Some were obvious and teen related reasons, but others were due to unfortunate life experiences. In the week or so leading up to the ceremony, my mood began to slump; I began to explore who I was at the time of menarche and what it felt like to be that teenage girl again. As I looked at pictures of myself at the time, I was reminded that

In the week or so leading up to the ceremony, my mood began to slump; I began to explore who I was at the time of menarche and what it felt like to be that teenage girl again. As I looked at pictures of myself at the time, I was reminded that

As I looked at pictures of myself at the time, I was reminded that 13 year olds don’t smile very much! And in fact look downright angry! I was transported back to feeling hideously

I was transported back to feeling hideously awkward and awash with an all-consuming teenage angst. The Menarche Ceremony itself, led by Emma, was truly beautiful, moving, uplifting and deeply personal, which is why I won’t share the details of it here. Suffice to say my journal was filled with a floatingly positive entry that night. We were told though by Emma to be kind to ourselves following the ceremony. To be mindful and watchful of ourselves. This was going to be a time of transition. Every woman’s experience of the transformation

The Menarche Ceremony itself, led by Emma, was truly beautiful, moving, uplifting and deeply personal, which is why I won’t share the details of it here. Suffice to say my journal was filled with a floatingly positive entry that night. We were told though by Emma to be kind to ourselves following the ceremony. To be mindful and watchful of ourselves. This was going to be a time of transition. Every woman’s experience of the transformation

We were told though by Emma to be kind to ourselves following the ceremony. To be mindful and watchful of ourselves. This was going to be a time of transition. Every woman’s experience of the transformation

Every woman’s experience of the transformation will, of course, be different, but I wasn’t quite prepared for what my psyche had in store for me!

What unfolded was a most unwelcome guest visit from my inner critic. Thanks to spending the summer online under the guidance of another of Alexandra’s apprentices with her She Flow Yoga Summer School, the menstrual maven herself, Lisa Lister, she suggested we name our inner critic. I decided on the name Zelda, although I also see her as Cinderella’s wicked

Thanks to spending the summer online under the guidance of another of Alexandra’s apprentices with her She Flow Yoga Summer School, the menstrual maven herself, Lisa Lister, she suggested we name our inner critic. I decided on the name Zelda, although I also see her as Cinderella’s wicked step mother!

Zelda decided to enter not only my psyche, but my very core and take up residence for most of the next month. There she was, a voice who usually makes herself heard a couple of times a month, mostly in my premenstrual phase, decided to stand up loud and proud, hang back, arms crossed, rolling her eyes at pretty much anything that I said and thought.

Her skill lay in her ability to sneer incessantly, all day and even worse, often throughout the night, about how utterly…useless…worthless… I was…at…everything…yes…EVERYTHING.

My awareness was such that I knew what this critic of mine was up to, and with guidance from Emma, I had to work on easing her away from my core. I also knew that at a more balanced and discerning time I would have a “conversation” with her and even ask the question, was there any truth in her constant unkind words?

It was time to pull on my resources, but I had to keep it simple. Deep and true kindness had to be the key. Intellectually it was crystal clear what was happening, a recalibration of my soul after the Menarche Ceremony; for me, the work was going to delve deep and unfortunately, harshly.

So yes indeed, kindness had to be my resource of choice.

I journalled like crazy, not allowing the thoughts to fester for too long. And as tempting as it would have been to hide away, in what was a particularly celebratory month, I spent time with wonderful friends who unknowingly kept me afloat and connected to myself in a safe and supportive way.

But one realisation disturbed me more than anything. Although I was tracking my menstrual cycle and the physical shifts were occurring, emotionally, I had stopped cycling.

Oh good grief! This had become my touchstone! The ebb and flow of my cycle had disappeared. Instead I became stuck in a perpetual autumnal state of premenstruum.

This was why my critic was having such a ball!

As the month went on there were very few signs that the recalibration was moving towards completion even though the winter of my cycle, emotionally preparing for my period, was drawing closer. This is the point in our cycles, according to Alexandra Pope, called the void. It took a few days of journaling to realise that this feeling of total emptiness that I was now occupying was a void deeper than I had ever experienced. A complete detachment.

What gradually became clear though, and my belief was, that this transition would finally reach a climax with my menstrual bleed. It turned out to be a long 34 day cycle, so it did feel as though it would never end!

But my bleed finally came and then it happened, I woke up full of ideas, creativity, excited, ready for action and unknowingly ready for new projects and new challenges.

With all I have experienced following the ceremony, I realise life will never quite be the same again; not so much a re-birthing experience, more an emergence from child to woman, where I am still “growing up” and that’s sometimes deeply uncomfortable. And when Zelda makes an appearance, I stay connected to my cycle, my awareness and my trusty journal.

I tested the kindness challenge after my Menarche Ceremony and truly, it was a soul saver. And I’ve learned to keep Zelda in check!

Over at Love Your Belly, we started a conversation a while back about how hard it is for women to allow kindness into their lives. We have had the pleasure of sharing a number of wise and impassioned guests who have joined the conversation. Check out their articles right here.

Top artwork: Black Man by Richard Rizzo

A Bloody Good Reason to Fall for your Menstrual Cycle

A Bloody Good Reason to Fall for your Menstrual Cycle

Posted on by Leora Leboff
A Bloody Good Reason To Fall For Your Monthly Cycle
By Leora Leboff, May 8 2015 11:16PM
What’s all the fuss about? Yes, us women have periods! Live with it! Lets face it, it’s all totally inconvenient; having to make sure we’re carrying enough sanitary towels or tampons, you know, the ones that in the adverts turn us in to superwoman. Despite what those adverts infer, our bodies might actually be crying out for some down time, so that’s just more inconvenience to deal with and a real sign of weakness, so we feel the compulsion to power on.

I haven’t even mentioned PMT, just wait until that rears its sometimes hideously ugly head. Oh the frustration of our partner not throwing away the used tea bags or the irritation that woman in the office who’s chair wheels squeak every time she moves!
Perhaps it feels deeper than that, a critical voice in your head that once a month begins to shout a little too loud that you are not worthy of this and are rubbish at that and don’t deserve, well, anything that might resemble happiness.

If any of this sounds familiar, welcome to what feels like a harsh menstrual world.
But, here’s a radical suggestion. Your period, in fact, your whole monthly cycle is not the enemy you might think it is.

How do I know this? Well read on.
The relationship I had with my own cycle up to only a couple of years ago, was, quite frankly one of pure hate, resentment, and the will for early menopause. Yes I was literally wishing my life away, anything so that I wouldn’t have to struggle through yet another month.

I would bleed for about 10 days, with 2 or 3 days of the kind of pain that could leave me momentarily blind. Often I would be unable to get out of bed, as I would regularly manage to squeeze in a few disabling migraines. They would strike indiscriminately before, during and/or after my bleed.

Premenstrually, I would feel so horribly unwell that most months l would be on the verge of passing out. My joints would be painful, breast pain was off the scale, and the rage was, well, just frightening. And the self talk, oh yes, that critic, she was always on her worst behaviour. The whole world was against me…again!

Who would have guessed that actually that womb from hell of mine, would end up being a bestie? A source of creativity, a source of intuition and a source of trust.
All I had to do was care for her and the cycle that she was central to.

First introductions to my womb were made during my Abdominal-Sacral Massage training and deepened in my Fertility Massage training. It turned out I was holding a whole load of trauma in her. Receiving massage treatments and allowing regular self massage, my cycle started to shift. Bleeds changed from brown and dark red sludge to a beautiful bright red flow; I was clearing healthily each month. But most gratefully, the pain eased.
So began my quest of self discovery. Over the last couple of years I’ve been educating myself, making changes and seeing significant, heart-skipping shifts.

The most radical change of all was deciding to commit to self-care.
After reading Alexandra Pope’s The Wild Genie, I knew I had to grab the opportunity to learn from the woman who spent 30 years developing a form of menstrual care that is both radical and hugely empowering. So I did, and I have learned that with care, kindness and most importantly, awareness, you can tap in to this source of menstrual creativity. Keeping a track of my cycle was a huge part of this, noting daily on a chart has allowed insight in to how I ebb and flow as I move from the winter of my bleed, to the spring of pre-ovulation, to the summer of ovulation, to the autumn of pre-menstrum, back to the winter of bleeding.

As I write this, it’s during the heaviest day of my period. I’m feeling pretty dreamy in mid-winter, but giving in to the feeling. Actually I am finding it hard to concentrate on anything for more than a few minutes, but it’s ok.
Look at that, no judgement or frustration, just kindness and understanding, and because of this, no pain. I haven’t pushed through.

I have invited my family to understand that I need to just “be” on this day and it’s made such a difference having them on board.
It’s about honouring each part of the cycle.

On Mothers Day this year I took my daughter to a one of my favourite crystal shops and we picked out a bracelet together that I wear only while I bleed.
I truly honour my cycle now and I chart to recognise when it’s necessary to show myself the most kindness. Long gone are the days where I was wishing for menopause. Instead at the age of nearly 45, I relish my final few years of bleeding, making the most of this gift until my time of transition.

As a gift, please download your own chart and to gain insight in to your own source of power and ease yourself in to self-care.
Blessings

Restoring the Soul - The Power Held Within a Mexican Shawl

Restoring the Soul – The Power Held Within a Mexican Shawl

Posted on by Leora Leboff

“A rebozo is a long flat garment used by women mostly in Mexico” This is part of a description that comes from Wikipedia. It is a sentence holding such simplicity.

I thank Wikipedia for this, as I am always in awe of the rebozo’s simplicity when I use them in treatments. In reality they are beautiful, intricately woven shawls, steeped in mystery yet imbued with Mexican history; a garment which allows for release and effortless give, but is also a vessel for a deep sense of containment and security.
It’s history? “There is evidence that the rebozo was worn in Mexico in the early years of the Spanish colony, but its mysterious origin is unknown as well as how it became part of Mexican identity.” – Frida Kahlo: Beyond the Magenta Rebozo by Simon Grimberg

Despite its mysterious conception, it is filled with Mexican tradition; the weave, the order in which the rebozo is created, the pattern, even the honour of being the empuntadora who makes and attaches the fringe at the end.
It is a garment which is integrated in to so many areas of life, “Women wear it casually or formally as an accessory, and use it in practical ways: to cover their heads when entering church, as a shield from the sun, to keep warm, to carry a bundle, to hold a suckling infant, or in any number of creative ways.” – Frida Kahlo: Beyond the Magenta Rebozo by Simon Grimberg

Image: From Made in Mexico: Rebozo in Art, Culture and Fashion

Conversely, the rebozo was used as a scented death shroud, “Aroma se luto…has a particular herbal and floral infusion that is prepared over a length of time in the dry season. The infusion consists of dried tarragon, sage, cloves, rosemary, Spanish moss, apple mint, star anise, cinnamon, rose petals and calla lillies. Traditionally, this very special rebozo was used to wrap the deceased for their journey to the after life.” – El Viaje/ The Journey – Birth to Death (Information from the Made in Mexico: Rebozo in Art, Culture and Fashion Exhibition held at The Fashion & Textile Museum 2014)
It was revolutionary artist Frida Kahlo who made the rebozo most visible to the world, rarely being pictured not wearing one.

Image: From Made in Mexico: The Rebozo in Art, Culture and Fashion, Toni Frissell 1937

Having chosen to work with these exquisite vessels of love in my massage practice, I asked a client how she felt after experiencing an abdominal massage, followed by being wrapped in the rebozos. Her response was:
“I have always felt supported and empowered…as well as humbled, it makes you feel ok in your own body…it makes you feel you own your body, it makes you feel you have no body, you just are, you’re pure love, all that’s necessary, nothing else needed”

Oh, the beautiful power held within the Mexican shawl.
Fertility Massage Therapy Teacher and expert, Clare Spink runs Rebozo Workshops for birth workers and body workers. I was lucky enough to help out at one she held recently. Being witness and part of what unfolded, will be a day in my professional life I will never forget.

We were in a room of women and one beautiful-hearted Dad, who spent the day there with his 6 week old son, so that Mum could learn how to use the Rebozo and breastfeed when necessary.
For the birth workers they were eager to learn the techniques to help ease mamas in labour, help encourage a baby who is not lying in the optimum position for birth to turn, and give a different kind of support to their birthing women. For the body workers they were there to learn techniques that would leave their clients with a sense of weightless freedom; loosening stiff arms, legs and necks, so that they could now be swung, shimmied and unconsciously released. It’s hard to keep up resistance once the rebozo flow.

The learning had been fun in the workshop and there was a buzz in the room, then something extraordinary happened.
The atmosphere shifted from practice to sacred ceremony.

We were going to experience part of the Closing the Bones ceremony, which has Latin American and Asian origins. Traditionally it is a postnatal ceremony for bringing a woman back together after the physical, emotional, energetic and spiritual displacement of childbirth. But, for anyone who has been involved in a shattering experience; a break up, a loss, or even simply at the end of a massage when you want to feel your whole body come back together and reconnect, being wrapped in the rebozo is beautifully containing.
Back in the workshop, the women divided in to small groups. Time and respect was given to each woman, as the others slowly and consciously performed the wrapping and unwrapping. It was highly emotional for some, releasing for others, but the majority felt a deep peace in the experience.

Most beautiful was Closing the Bones with Mum and her baby who had just reached 6 weeks. I was moved to tears as baby peacefully fed, had a little cough, an extra cuddle from Mum and then snoozed peacefully on her breast. We wrapped them, with care, all gazing lovingly at baby Solomon, held safely in his mother’s arms. Once the wrapping was complete, we stepped away so that the two of them could just be together; be contained and held by the rebozos. Mum and baby lay together peacefully connected.

We invited Dad to step in and help with the unwrapping, which he did with such nurture and respect. After he unwrapped her head, and she opened her eyes, he placed a tender kiss on the forehead of his wife as she realised that her man had been part of what had just passed.

It was mesmeric, so moving, and it consolidated how this simple but intricate garment coupled with the act of ceremony, could have such a profound effect on the recipient.
When I ask a client at the end of her treatment, “are you OK for me to unwrap you?” The answer is always a sleepy “Nooo”!

If you would like to experience the exquisite rebozo as part of a massage treatment have a look here.
You can find more information on the rebozo here

Blessings
***Special thanks to the ladies who kindly allowed the photographs of the Rebozo workshop to included.

Belonging

Belonging

Posted on by Leora Leboff

It’s a Bank Holiday weekend.

A time for family? A time for friends? Or may be a time when you choose to step away from the usual connections you make in the week.

As I learned earlier this week, in a searching, challenging and enlightening workshop on Constellations, our lives are made up of systems; groups of people in which we have our place and make our connections.

Perhaps a long weekend such as this, will give rise to many emotions – from feeling easy and comfortable, perhaps excited, happy, joyous to feelings of uncertainty, unease, frustration and even loneliness. These emotions are most certainly linked to where we stand in our systems.

How many groups or systems are you part of? Our ancestral lines; family; different friendship groups; work colleagues; those you share a hobby with – a book club, a walking group; the same people you commute with each day; parents on the school playground..? The list could go on and on.

Our place within these different systems has a huge impact on who we are and vice versa.

The theme of the Constellation Workshop was Belonging. The space was held safely and skilfully by Betsy Gibson and Sara Poss and we explored what this meant to each of us with depth and authenticity. As thoughts, feelings and emotions were shared, I began to realise something my truth. What belonging meant to me.

My physical reaction surprised me – sweaty palms and a racing heart! I was unnerved at how uncomfortable I felt at the prospect of verbalising it.

Confession time! Belonging is something I’ve always struggled with but I’ve never explored what it truly meant to me. As a child, it was a hard feeling to live with; as a teenager it was sometimes excruciating; a steep learning curve at University and entering the world of work throughout my 20s and into my 30s. By my early 40s I began to feel more comfortable with the feeling. And now, particularly after the workshop this week, I realise that I can actually embrace that feeling of otherness and cosy up with that part of myself.

It is sheer perfection that I have chosen to work in the world of complementary medicine. There is often a feeling of having to fight against the tide, just by the nature not adhering to the norms of conventional medicine. But, it’s now crystal clear to me why there is such pleasure and delicious joy when clients embrace and allow the beauty of the otherness of the work.

Not just in my work life, the personal struggle with the sense of otherness has meant the connections and friendships that I have, make my heart truly sing and are so much more precious.

Whatever your relationship with the concept of belonging, of all the systems you are part of, why not try to shift the amount of time spent with those people who love and accept you for who you are and allow your authentic self to thrive?

So, this holiday weekend I wish you peace with your version of belonging – if it’s with family, friends, your pets or whether you prefer your own company and your sense of belonging is to your self – Happy Easter, Happy Passover and love to all.

Blessings

X

For more information on Constellations and the Parenting Programme designed to help heal family dynamics you can find information on Sara here and you can contact Betsy at betsygibson@btinternet.com

Top Art image: “Moon Dancers” Angela Ferreira

Lower Art Image: Diane Solis